A new chapter

It's been a long time since I posted anything in here. I have not felt like it. But it has been a wonderful period, these last couple of months. Not that I haven't had my fair share of anxiety and crazy, crazy thoughts; oh no, there has been plenty of that. But for the first time, during these 4 years of I Divorced Life, have I truly felt completely satisfied with my work. I feel that I am nearer now to what I have wanted to become artistically, and that is a very reassuring feeling. Now I can finally leave that old curse behind, and be who I was on course to be back then, before he spoiled it all. I don't need him, at all. I thought I did, and he actively contributed to that feeling. But after a year I am sure that I don't need him at all. God such a fucking waste of time. No more "oh I just recorded this piece, I better check out that it doesn't sound too much like..." or "oh dear, this sounds a little bit like, I better change it". It's over.

You can't be around another creative person for too long without being influenced by him. But you can be too proud to admit to it.