What does it all mean? What importance lies within the music if it equals isolation? To me, isolation is absorption and concentration, as long as the anxiety keeps its claws off of me. But the fire is still burning, like a blazing need and a flickering sensation of loss casting shadows all over. What kind of loss? It is still unclear to me. Maybe it is self-evident, and maybe it is not so obvious at all. Am I a victim of circumstance? Or am I the master of my own existence? I would choose the latter, and that does not make the pain any more bearable. The blame is on me then, while the feeling of failure is still smouldering within. For too long I have been failing myself, maybe while projecting my own failure unto others around me, because it is always easier to blame others than to blame yourself. Anyway, the bridges have all burnt themselves, with the aid of yours truly, arsonist. The only bridge left leads to the mainland, and that is my destination. My soon-to-be former tomb can be left forever, and maybe I will able to blow some life into my stagnant existence when I feel the firm ground beneath my feet again.
[I DIVORCED LIFE, LP, EP & LIVE IN 2010]
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